And that, my friends is probably the best way of summarizing my headspace for the moment. I'm not entirely sure why I've chosen to dwell as much as I have lately on interpersonal relations (both in a positive and in a negative way) but I'm guessing it has something to do with it being a distraction from my all too frequent arm numbness/strange sensation issues that have been plaguing me particularly badly the last few weeks. Yes I have a further medical appointment for December (yay for waiting) and yes I could go visit my regular doctor I suppose if my symptoms worsened much from where they're at, but really it's an annoyance I can generally deal with although it does interfere with much of which I've been wanting to do as of late, including playing at least one Wii game, typing for long periods of time, and sleeping on my left side (this fact has made things uncomfortable enough to interrupt my sleep occasionally lately and I've already been sleeping more strangely than I have in years). Generally folks are understanding and when things are acting up I try to compensate appropriately. Lately that's meant reading a lot of the Kickstarters and other books I've received recently. Which feels good. It's nice to be reading again even if only because other actions are considerably more painful than they ought to be.
But enough about complaining. My purpose in typing in my LJ for the first time in weeks is to put some of my garbled thoughts on the screen in a longer format than a tweet or a Facebook status posting. And really I've been putting a fair bit of thought as of late to my hopes and dreams and why some of these are stalled a bit, partially due to things less of my own control. I mean really my desires are the same as most people: find fulfilling interpersonal relationships (yes, like many folks I happen to want a longterm fulfilling romantic relationship, in a fictional universe this would be termed 'true love' but life doesn't quite work in the same way as storybooks… I really do want a family of my own someday and I wonder at whether the whole notion of a 'biological clock' is making me more worried about this than I would otherwise be? It's not like I'm in a huge rush though I do kind wish that someday this area of my life would blossom in reasonably healthy way), maintain said interpersonal relationships (and this includes friendships of course: I don't feel like I have enough hours in the day to devote to all the people I care about and want to see on a regular basis), find financial security (I really want to stop having to pay tuition soon. Of course this is linked to finishing these degrees and finding a reasonably fulfilling job that isn't at the grocery store!), travel, pursue my hobbies, eat yummy food, be healthy and exercise (see above health complaints for reasons as to why this isn't working as well as I would hope for it to), and so on. My dreams are similar to many people's and really I don't have it as badly off as I might sometimes feel like it is. But I get pretty wrapped up in my head sometimes.
Last night I hosted folks for some Evil Baby Orphanage and Things. It was good and the themed potluck went amazingly well. I'm pretty pleased with these facts and hope that the future includes more awesome board games as well as yummy food, friendship, and of course happy moments. I had best run off to work now, but I did feel like typing up a short posting in any case.