Worries… frustrations… and general rediculousness

So here I am procrastinating again (being an idiot again)… getting generally frustrated not only with the university (as per usual this month) but with my lack of prowness when it comes to putting together portfolios to get me into the WRITE courses I wanna take.
Dag-nabbit! These are my hopes and dreams I'm playing with! I'm playing with FIRE! And that disturbs me.
Because what if it DOESN'T work out?
What if the ceiling DOES come crashing in?
What if I AM alone forever?
I shouldn't be thinking in these 'what ifs'. But guess what? I am. Too much rides on my getting in to school for the fall (and the timing of that), on getting into courses for the fall, on some other stuff as well, and on just plain life.
And ye gads…. I'm also spending far too much money these days. It's supposed to come… eventually. People say it'll come sometime. But I tend to worry much. I guess I'm anal when it comes to my money. But I DO need to get myself through my next degree (assuming I get into the dratted thing)… and I do kinda spend more than I likely earn (if it wasn't for tuition… all would be well-ish).
And I do kind of travel rather lots for my current income as well.
And quite frankly, I'm worried.
About way more than I likely should be.

Why can't I just sit down and make things perfect if only for a little while?